“Mommie I really like your hair, with all the colors…It has my favorite color in it, green. That’s my favorite. Green & orange. You have those, right there and right there, right?” Awww thank you Bren Bren. Green is your … Continue reading
A couple of weeks ago, my fellow Warrior Mom and friend Nicole over at Healing Mutti posted a picture on my Facebook wall with an encouraging message. (I tried finding the picture, but it’s disappeared-stupid Facebook!) I had been having a … Continue reading
I’m smiling right now. I’m not really sure why, but I am. I should be crying. I should be a wreck….But I’m not. I’m smiling a little. I do feel some twinges of sadness, when I think about what I had hoped would be, but I’m not reeling from the shock and pain of it like I was before.
Strength. That’s what I felt this morning when I woke up. Quiet strength undergirding me, carrying me, making me feel stronger than I’ve felt in months. Strong like its going to be okay, I can do this, we will make it through these choppy waters, God has never failed me even when I mess up strong. Even the tears I shed a couple of times felt strong.
Acceptance. I felt acceptance.
I did feel some twinges of fear, some “OMG what am I going to do!!!” But the strength I was feeling in my gut spoke louder than the voice of fear.
And I’m smiling. Because I’ve let go. Of the ambiguity. Of the uncertainty. Of the game of hot and cold. Smiling because even though it looks grim right now, and even though it will hurt from time to time, I feel in control. Of my emotions, of my health, of my life. I haven’t felt like this in….I don’t know how long. Smiling because I’m looking at my boys and they are smiling at me, Brennan with his loving gaze and Alex with that ever present mischievious and playful glint in his eye. He climbs into my lap, Brennan starts doing one of his silly dances to the Fresh Beat Band, and I laugh. One of those deep down from the gut laughs that leaves you gasping for air. And its in that moment that strength speaks loud and clear in my head: “See? I’ve got you. All you’ve got to do is just trust Me and let my joy be your strength. You’ll get through this. “
I don’t know why I let circumstances, situations, or mistakes I’ve made give me amnesia and forget-He will never let us go.
And so, I’m just going to keep smiling
I saw this on Faith Baby’s Facebook page (who by the way has adorable clothes for wee ones):
Every problem is a character-building opportunity, and the more difficult it is, the greater the potential for building spiritual muscle and moral fiber. Problems also force us to look at God and to depend on Him instead of ourselves.
“And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Romans 5:3-4“
Just wanted to share their post because it’s good food for thought ( at least it is for me), especially when deciding what’s better to strive for: a life of happiness, or one filled with joy
“Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.. ”
James 1:2-4 MSG
My pastor brought up this subject a few weeks ago in his message and its been weighing down my thoughts ever since… What does it mean to be happy? What is happiness exactly? How do you go about attaining it? … Continue reading