Today I’m SUPER EXCITED for 2 reasons. One: This is my first post in a new series I’m doing here on ‘Confessions called “Self-Love Saturdays” where I share my journey to learn how to love myself through thick & thin, for better or for worse. I want to have a better relationship with ME and I’ll be exploring topics that cover body image, self-esteem, self-improvement….you get the idea. My hope is to also share insights from other bloggers who talk about these subjects on a professional or personal level and that brings me to reason for excitement number Two:
See that beautiful Mama up there? Her name is Jaime and her blog James & Jax is one of my top three FAVORITE blogs to read, hands down. Even though we haven’t met in person yet, she is fast becoming an IRL friend: She’s a Prince fan, a writer, & loves PB sandwiches with bananas & honey just as much as I do, so how could we not?
I’m honored that she wanted to grace ‘Confessions with her awesomeness. I could probably spend an entire paragraph gushing about how much I love reading her stuff & how the writer in me digs her writing style, but I don’t want to seem like a stalker so….do yourself a favor & don’t take my word for it-read her post here, go visit her blog, and chat with her on Facebook & Twitter. Read the 411 below, & show her some love ya’ll
Meet James: I’m a first-time mom, making my way through breastfeeding, co-sleeping, my version of attachment parenting, PPD, working full-time, and still trying to figure out who I am now that becoming a mother has totally rocked my world. Want to know more about me? Read this or this! Meet Jax: My son, Jax, is turning 2 this month, the day after me (no, I’m not telling you my age!). His current obsessions are Yo Gabba Gabba, balloons, “nummies,” and pizza. And he doesn’t sleep well. Sigh.
James & Jax is a parenting blog, but more than that, it aims to present my belief that we’re all in this together. What I mean is that by sharing my personal experiences while raising my son, I hope that those reading feel less alone and lonely, and more like “Wow, I went through that, too!” It is my ultimate goal that reading my blog feels like chatting with your high school girlfriend over a glass of wine, now that we’re both moms.
“Growth itself contains the germ of happiness.”
Pearl Buck said that, and I believe she was right! I love all things self-help, I must admit. I’m on a lifelong quest for self-improvement. It’s not that I think I am a bad person with lots of room for improvement. I think I’m a (mostly) fabulous person, but all people, fabulous or not, have limitless growth potential. Because it is my birth month, during which I always try to reflect on the past year and the year ahead, I’ve devoted the month of August to becoming a better me.
To help with my goal, I’ve signed up for the 30-Day Be a Better Me challenge on The Personal Excellence Blog. I’m slowly working my way through the 30 days a little behind the rest of the gang (at last check, there were over a thousand of us participating), but speed is not the mission. The mission, as I determined on Day 1 of the challenge, is to weed out the traits I consider my worst so that I can become a better wife, friend, mother, daughter, sister, and so on:
Those are my 3 worst traits–which I’ve now told the entire internet about. Yikes. Yet telling the internet is the best way to hold myself accountable, so there’s that.
As someone who’s recovered from postpartum depression, I now realize the value of self-care and self-love. There is an analogy common among those who have suffered from PPD: Self-care is the oxygen mask you put on when the plane’s going down. And just as the flight attendant instructs, you must place your own mask on before helping others (even children). Because if you’re not well, you can’t care for others. As a mother, this is hard to do–that pesky momma guilt is quick as lightning when it strikes. But self-care and motherhood MUST go hand in hand. You cannot love your babies to your fullest capability if you do not love yourself, for they are part of you!
So my current take on self-care is this 30-day challenge. By spending a half hour to an hour each day this month to work on improving myself, I am proving that I care about and love myself and I am thus being a positive role model to my son.
The last thing in the world I want for my son, Jax, is a mother who is negative, angers too easily, and is impatient. No, scratch that, the last thing I want for Jax is to be negative, angry, and impatient himself because he learned it from me. And I don’t really want that for any of my loved ones, either.
I have to defend myself for a second, lest you get the wrong idea. I’m not outwardly negative, angry, and impatient 100% of the time. Not even 50% of the time! But that 10% of the time is enough, and I don’t like how it makes me feel. I don’t want to carry my anger with me and hold grudges. I don’t want to immediately think of the 10,000 cons (or dangers) of any situation, even good ones. And I don’t want to rush through my (and my son’s) life. I would much rather feel how I do that other 90% of the time–happy, calm, at peace and enjoying my life, even the quirky stuff. Life is too short to not live as my ideal self!
For me, this August will be a month of self-reflection, self-love, and self-care. And come September, I will be changed. Maybe the transformation will be subtle, but as I mentioned, it’s not a race and self-improvement is a lifelong journey.
Won’t you join me?